I Love You But I'm Not in Love with You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship

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Editorial reviews

Synopsis
How do you fall back in love? This was the underlying problem of one in four couples seeking help from relationship therapist Andrew G. Marshall. They described their problem as: 'I love you but I'm not in love with you'. Noticing how widespread the phenomenon had become, he decided to look more closely. Why were these relationships becoming defined more by companionship than by passion, and why was companionship no longer enough? From his research Andrew has devised his own unique programme. By looking at how a couple communicate, argue, share love, take responsibility, give and learn he offers in seven steps a reassuring and empowering map for how two individuals can better understand themselves, strengthen their bond and recover that lost magic.

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Customer reviews

review by: Mike date: 2008-08-08 rating:
Nothing new
I bought this book because of the very good reviews. I found it heavy, tedious, boring and superficial - it failed to get underneath the real micro issues that are going on in failing or 'tired' relationships. The information it contains is pretty much the same as was being published 20 years ago, in my experience. The seven steps aren't rocket science and there's certainly no magic ingredient here, if you are expecting one. It does offer a structure for how to work on your relationship, if that's what you need and what you think might help you.

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review by: date: 2008-07-26 rating:
A MUST READ!!!!
I read this book over a weekend and what an eye-opener it is!! I've been together with my handsome man for over 4 years. We've had excellent times and we love each other so much but that feeling of not being in love anymore was/is weighing us down. How could this be? We work so well together...or so i thought. Turns out we have been driving each other apart without ever really realising it and we had been shielding each other from truths for want of not to hurt the other person. If I had read this book a few years ago I wouldn't have been so stupid!! A relationships require honesty and hardwork on both sides. I realise now that both hard work and honesty have been sorely lacking in our relationship. Hopefully we still have time enough and love enough to use the lessons in this book to fix what we have, because I love my man dearly and I hope he still loves me. Only time will tell.

So yes, this book is very good, well written, and a must for almost *anyone* in a serious relationship. The two of you deserve to be happy and I believe that the contents of this book will help you in this endeavour.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!

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review by: date: 2007-11-03 rating:
Will it really help you?
Unfortunately for me it was too late when the book did arrive as my girlfriend called off the relationship. Much as my now ex thought it was absurd that a book was going to cure everything I found some good constructive advice and our own failings which was that we never argued properly instead tip toeing around each other. The book did reflect a lot that had gone on with us, and i feel both men and women will find something to aid them in their relationship. I particularly enjoyed it as it was written from a british perspective and was more grounded in reality rather than the 'alternative reality' we often see from across the pond. If your relationship is rock bottom try this book for a new angle, it is not a magic bullet just explains that 'smart' thinking may find you a path back to love again. I only wish we were together to tell you if the advice would of worked in practice...

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review by: Yan date: 2007-01-29 rating:
Why didn't I find this earlier
This is a great book, almost every strategy in it makes perfect sense, whilst it seems to blame most relationship problems on childhood events; it accurately explains the science of what happens at every stage of a relationship.

If your partner and you are still hanging on and working for a chance this book will almost certainly work for you, and even if it failed, you would end up not with a bitter estranged ex, but a life long friend.

My regret is that I never found this book three years ago at a time when I know Mr Marshall's advice would certainly have worked for me.



review by: The Wise Woman date: 2006-09-23 rating:
Argh! Why did no one ever tell me this before!
I think the government and World Health Organisation should make this book mandatory reading for anyone and everyone before they are allowed to enter into a relationship, to prevent the unenlightened from knacking their relationships without even realising what they're doing. This is like a long lost essential instruction manual, when you read it, you think "Hells teeth! Why couldn't I have read this before I did that!". This book gives great insight into the different stages of relationships, what's normal when, and I SO wish I'd read this book ten years ago! No matter what state your relationship's in, from rainbows and butterflies to copious amounts of wailing, chocolate and alcohol, I'd imagine most folk would benefit from reading this book, and if the worst has happened, it will help you to come to terms with the situation, and possibly promote self awareness, which can only be for the good. BUY IT IMMEDIATELY AND SAVE YOURSELF MANY YEARS OF ANGUISH! Insist that all your children read it, and don't let them start dating unless they have.

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Books . Refinements . Language (feature_browse-bin) . English
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Books . Refinements . Format (binding_browse-bin) . Paperback
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